you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
