My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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