I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
