And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
