You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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