She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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