Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
