he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize