So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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