i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
how can u be prego again
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
