I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
