I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize