I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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