I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize