I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize