I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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