You really coming over, don't trick.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
