i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
