Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
smell my finger.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
