Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I want to fling myself into the sun
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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