I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Fuck appropriateness.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
