dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We are two peas in an std pod
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
