I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
