Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
