I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
