No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
