Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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