So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
