Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You are a genius and a whore.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
