bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
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