Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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