That's when you crack a 10am beer
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
