This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize