We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Your cock deserves a montage
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
