highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
