I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
