We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
