The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
