wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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