"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
