Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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