what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
