So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
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