What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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