why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
