Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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