If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Floor bacon is actually really good
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
