Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
