If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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