Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
