Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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