I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
