i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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