The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
