I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
