hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
