dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
