im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
We got so high we made milksteak
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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