My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
