May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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