OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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