Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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