Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
