Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
handjob tips. give me some.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize