buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
