so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
