I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
