wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
