I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
