Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
