It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
