Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
