Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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