TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
