i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
